Miss Mel

Flashback

2011-07-25T19:08:00.000-07:00

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Where are you going to? do you know?
Do you get what you're hoping for?
When you look behind you there's no open door
What are you hoping for?
Do you know?

Theme song from 'Mahogany" sung by Diana Ross

I used to try and leave as many doors open as possible to keep my options wide. But if I truly reflect on my past was I really trying to be "open" or just afraid to make a commitment?

Thank you

2011-05-26T13:02:00.000-07:00

Thank you Lord for carrying me through three years of university and for using me to impact others for your glory.

"Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest." - Joshua 1:9

Thank you to all those who gave me a reason to smile by sending :), lol, GOOD MORNING!!! an unexpected phone call or any other thing to remind me that I was not forgotten.

"Good fren betta dan poket money" - Jamaican proverb

Wow So Soon?

2011-04-06T13:24:00.001-07:00

Final Exams timetable has been posted so I can officially now begin counting down the weeks till school is over.

Vegetarian?

2010-08-22T12:28:00.000-07:00

Ugh! what kinda weirdo doesn't eat meat or animal products? The same one that goes to university to play steelpan of all things.

For the past two years I've gradually cut down on the amount of meat I've been eating to the point where I no longer even purchase it. Initially I couldn't think past the (apparently) gaping hole on my plate where the meat kind was supposed to be but I'd still have no problem with dairy. The main incentive was to try and avoid hormone enhanced and GM foods.

Today though, I got a disgusting reminder that dairy (even apart from the hormones) may contain a certain amount of blood or pus from wounded udders. GROSS!! So no more dairy at all for me.

Jus don' call me ras.

Being Jamaican

2010-05-27T12:06:00.000-07:00

Lawks, every single day someone asks me "what's going on in Jamaica gurl?" I'da really love fi know miself.

Somebody jus invent some kinda scanner and put it pon di politician head dem fi mi nuh. Do, beg yuh, dat way we cyan aall si, one time, a weh really a gwaan inna dem head.

One More

2010-05-07T16:36:00.000-07:00

One more exam to go guys. As of Monday afternoon somewhere around 1:15pm I'll be officially finished with year two of the degree programme!! Yipeeee!!!!

It's been the hardest year so far, but also the most rewarding too.

Oh the joys of waking up at 4 and 5 am only to go to bed at 10pm, 11pm, 12am , 1am , 2 am. and do it all over again. Thank the Lord for giving me sound wisdom so I wouldn't think this pressure is for no reason. or solely aggravation. No no, pressure makes you stronger :-)

Next item on the agenda (as in currently working on) is getting a supervisor for my thesis. This semester some of my individual assignments just had to take a backseat to accommodate group assignments. I definitely cannot afford for that to happen come September.

Like a wise man said, "preparation is never wasted", and if I can complete the literature review before summer and God willing even get some interviews out of the way I can schedule the other unforseen events better. I know for certain Panorama not seeing me next year unless I just going in the grandstand. Talk about two months of pressure.

I have a concept in mind. I want to investigate how former students of the pan programme here have benefitted (or not) from the experience. What were their expectations before and after leaving and how have they changed (if they have).

I know I want to include some live video footage and interview transcripts in the material (Geez, this appendix looking like nuff already). How do I go about setting my sample though? Should I go by graduation year? stratify by gender? confine it to Trinidadian students? How much is it going to cost to call these ppl and set up interviews? You see whay I need to get my butt cracking from now?

Anyway, I should be posting more often. LOL Yeah, famous last words I know. But..yeah. That's all for now.

Pedestrians and Passengers, the upgrade

2010-02-17T17:10:00.000-08:00

In an update on a post I made in 2007, the passengers have upgraded to booking lifetime tickets with an approximate journey date at the end of this year.

Lately it seems that I cannot but turn around without seeing another couple who have decided to make that particular lifetime commitmment. Though I am happy for them, I wonder how many persons are called to a life of spinsterhood/ bachelorhood.

Truly there is such a group. Not those who have missed out on the opportunity to become one flesh but those uniquely placed to maintain their single status. The difference has nothing whatsoever with finding that soulmate or special someone. The difference has everything to do with understanding yourself and your willingness to be steadfast until death.

Its a small difference and its a wise man who knows where he stands. As for me, well, maybe one day...

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T13:46:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas to one and all :-D Though Christ probably wasn't born today its still a joyous occasion in any event.

Right now I'm looking at my "adopted" family here in Trinidad as we go through the final preps for Christmas dinner. Hulk (the potung (read pot hound/mixed breed dog) is outside the screen door waiting for a chance to buss inside, ..and oh mi gosh so said so done. Excuse while I remove the little varmint.

Anyway, so Hulk is AGAIN outside, the noise of the electric knife cutting the turkey is not so much competing as beating down the Christmas carols on the radio, and the christmas tree lights are winking behind me. It's been an extremely blessed season and I look forward to conquering even bigger challenges and seeing myself grow even more. I wish the same for you and your family at this time and in the year coming.

Instructions on Love (The 3 step process)

2009-11-18T20:06:00.000-08:00

Three steps for maintaining that glow of love:

Step 1) Love the Lord with all your heart, soul and mind (Dat mean yuh gwine talk an walk wid 'Im everyday an' doh mek 'Im jealous a si yuh ah fren up wid no fake god).

Step 2) Love your neighbour as yourself (no dis don' mean seh yuh mus' buy 'im a pair of evryting whe yuh have) .

Step 3) Love your enemies and bless those who curse you (God bless yuh Mr bad drivah, ah will invest in some driving lessons fi yuh so me an you will get wi legal license ah di same time).

There you have it, three steps on the use of love for the modern human. Please tune in later for tips on how to gain it, keep it and the benefits of it.

*All steps original property and copyright of God made available for unlimited P2P sharing and downloading free of charge.

Congratulations!

2009-11-02T17:21:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to Elaine from Simmysed. While she may have come offline it was only to make her dreams and writings reality. May you and your new husband be blessed and continue to grow in God's love.

Food for life

2009-10-11T17:52:00.000-07:00

I was reminded of the promises and benefits as well as all the curses that would fall on the believer if he/she was obedient /disobedient in keeping the laws of God as given to Moses. (Deuteronomy 28) Some of the least of the promises include blessings for the fruit of our body (children), a surplus of prosperity and the defeat of our enemies in front of our very faces.

The curses I should have realized would be on an equally large scale. Even after death we would not be safe. From confusion and rebuke in every enterprise that we set our hands, consumption and boils, our dead bodies eaten by birds, to being oppressed and robbed continually. The land too would suffer considerably.

Trust me, a very sobering read.

Thankfully we know that Christ came to free us from this law by being a living sacrifice for us(Romans 8), for all the things we had, could and would do against God and each other. Freedom not to go do more of the same but freedom from the things we would and could do. Many times we forget that we are already free from that burden and try to pick it up again. Bad idea. The devil already knows God's word doesn't change and is only too happy to remind us of the curses while obscuring Christ's sacrifice.

The thing to remember is that the curses and promises will remain. They won't go away. But once we believe and move in accordance with Christ we have even more grace, power and healing than was ever detailed by the law. There is hope!

So much to say

2009-07-29T06:56:00.000-07:00

I have so much to say and yet so little of it bears relevance to anything worthwhile that you might want to know.

The main thing is that I am born again and re accepted Christ in my life several months ago. The changes to date have been nothing short of amazing on every level.

I try to remember if there was this level of gladness in me when I first made that decision long ago but I don't think so. At the least I don't see where I had gone through as many storms as now to make the transition so marked.

The only other point of great note is that this change has no impact on the frequency on my posts. Sorry, can't win them all.

Point of view

2009-06-06T15:14:00.000-07:00

On the upside this semester's exam results look a whole lot better than last semester.

On the downside I haven't swum since October last year .

Yes I have strange way of seeing the world.

update 2

2009-05-06T11:02:00.000-07:00

yow dat last exam breed me. Nah lie. Score writing for SATB parts bites. Oh well. No way to know for sure until end of May. Only one left hooray!!

Happier news, summer job has been secured starting friday. Yes I'll be staying in di ppl dem country. I am sooooooooooooo looking forward to beach now.

Update

2009-05-04T11:56:00.000-07:00

Quick update,

1)Two exams down , two to go
2)Hoping to get a call back later this week on a summer job
3)Beach trip and general country outing this weekend

Recession

2009-03-24T06:02:00.000-07:00

Its official, I am a victim of recession. My hairline has moved so far back in my head I'm wondering if I shouldn't do an automatic lean forward just so people can see that I'm not some kind of alien.

Does it ever grow back on it's own? Hey I bet you sales of Rogaine have not been affected by this recession. They probably have increased sales if anything.

A big part of the problem is my hairstyle. I interlock my hair and the roots don't like that. At least the people who just palm roll their locks don't seem to be affected by the recession. Let me try that option first before I go full out and chop it all off. Be warned however, if that doesn't work, Mel shall be going back to her roots, and only her roots so help her God.

Update

2009-03-19T12:18:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I've calmed down now. I'll go back to them next year. It was a great experience overall and I made some new friends and contacts.

In the meantime, where does the semester fly?I have a concert this weekend to perform in. (Marimbas, rainsticks, castanets and claves) then presentation the next week and assessment who knows when.Then I hear the department has a mandatory performance at the end of the semester. Thank goodness for teachers who actually realize that students need schedules IN ADVANCE so they can plan their activities. I can't even say that the three holidays help since school will be closed and I won't get to practice on actual instruments. Yes I said three, Trinidad has Shouter Baptist Liberation Day on the 30th of this month plus Good Friday and Easter Monday.

And for all those who thought I was mad, playing on air pans is in fact excellent practice. I've also been introduced to beating a pillow by my drumkit teacher. The logic behind that one is that you will develop wrist strength from being forced to play correctly on something that has absolutely no bounce.

TCCCCHHHHHH!!!!

2009-02-26T15:03:00.000-08:00

Soooooo..... I am not impressed by the attitude I saw displayed at Panorama.

Essentially after all the big lead up with the full white suits (hat/jacket/pants/shoes) and fireworks and months of practice we lost bad bad bad. Shameful bad.

The losing is not the problem, is how we lost and the way that the loss was dealt with that leave me shaking my head.

Simply put we came 6th out of 8 bands. We were the second band to perform on stage for finals and after semi finals we were ranked number 2 so we were in a good position. The rules stated there should be no more than 100 players. In order to avoid total disqualification the manager had to go (on stage) and remove sticks from players. An entire rack was told not to play in addition to players at the back. Obviously, there was an overabundance of players. A total flaunting of the rules.

When yuh get ketch wid yuh pants down , don' blame di person who ketch yuh fuh having eyes in dem head. Is you mek di mistake. Why then do you want to blame the organising body and say that they have it in for you? Why screw up yuh face and mutter about how you hope they check this band an dat band?

(Shakes head) "Tief nevah like fi si tief wid long bag" . The mood was very sour that night. The only consolation was that an underdog took the title. Congratulations to Silver Stars. I still enjoyed the experience and am thankful that I actually got a chance to play, but I am reconsidering who I play with next year.

Las' Lap

2009-02-20T13:23:00.000-08:00

Tonight is the final practice before Panorama Finals tomorrow evening. We drew playing position numero dos so I'll get an opportunity to hear some of the other bands this time.

Hopefully there will not be a repeat of Panorama semis. Why you may wonder? Well lets see, the engine room was jamming so hard that the baffle (plastic sound reflecting board) above them, fell on top of the congos and the scratcher player and me. In doing so it cut the string on my left pan so I was playing a single double tenor. Yeah, just a regular day for super chick.

I am definitely looking forward to the competition.
http://www.panonthenet.com/tnt/2009/tunes/festival.htm You can check the link for the song that we're playing. Honestly the pan version is incredibly better.

Right, so I'm leaving. Keep your ears tuned to the web and your eyes to the blogosphere.

Results

2009-02-14T09:25:00.000-08:00

We came second. Two points separate us from the leader of the pack.

At this stage every little thing seems crucial.

Panorama Semis

2009-02-11T06:11:00.001-08:00

As of this moment I am still waiting to hear the results.

If you follow the man on the street or the commentators on the radio then Exodus took it by storm.

No one can really prepare you for the experience of participating in a panorama. I can safely say though that it is an AWESOME experience!

If you have ever participated in a major street jam say an Independence Day parade or a carnival street parade then you can start to get a feel of the vibe. Hundreds of persons beside/in front/behind/near to each other and you on a rack jumping up and down like a jumbie , a little raised creature on a pedestal.

Its very easy to see why artistes get high of their own egos cause trus' mi. I ain't reach nowhere an all me getting nuff love an hype from fanatics. LOLOL, an dese pan ppl have some diehard supporters. We joke about our little "groupies" but when yuh see ppl man woman child in your jerseys an who have on di batty ridah shorts and who have on di muscle shirt an all dem waan kno seh yuh play wid Exodus?? Craziness. These ppl are there only becuase THE BAND deh deh. Dem doan waan nuttn more dan dat. An dem doh hf to be drunk neida. Dem doan care bout no music from nobaddy else, dem doan care bout where dem live, or which a dem fambly playing where from how long. Dey is X.O fanatics an dem blood run black an white (Exodus colours)

Part of the fun for me was having to push the racks (think trolleys) around the Savannah to reach the judging stage. I have passed there numerous times by car and I am still flabbergasted to realize how far I was walking, and to a judging point no less!! Anyways, it was fun cause intermittently we would stop and the drill master would beat the tock tock/cowbell/pans and we'd all climb back on and start to practise again. An everytime yuh play, is more ppl dat jumping up to yuh song. An more, an more . An den yuh reach near the stage (An by dis time it well dark eh) and yuh hear the radio version of your song being played over and over on the loudspeakers an yuh realize.. "wait, it have more ppl out dere?"

And then, the last push up the stage and you finally see... grandstands front and behind and its a stadium full of ppl welcoming you home.

(Finals are the 21st of this month. I will try an post more highlights as we go along but the best thing really is just buy a ticket an reach)

Seh Wah?

2009-01-11T14:39:00.001-08:00

So we supposed to start learning the actual Panorama chune Monday, great!!

and den di arranger drop di bomb. He fine dat we going too slow. All dis learning from score an ting tekkin too long. Dis one tek half hour, an dat one tek 45mins an den we ain't learn di chune yet.

Nah!! He going bak to di ole time days. He coming an teach each section by heself...

All yuh... when mi drap down ded inna di panyard from drilling please fi tell mi breddah seh mi did ded wid a smile pan mi face.

Nice too bad.

Happy New Year

2009-01-08T12:08:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year all!!

So far I've passed all my courses and I started practice with Exodus on Monday. Seeker I got the confirmation, we're actually learning bomb tunes for the road on Carnival Monday and Tuesday.

It's a GREAT start to the new year. :-D

One Down

2008-12-07T14:36:00.000-08:00

So the function went well last monthh. Thanks to all the well wishers. The band played decently but were playing to some die hard pan fans so it was vibezy. Crowd turnout was really low though.

I survived my pan exam, made a couple errors but played through like that's how it was meant to be :-) For those who're curioius I played two pieces, Song without words by Mendelssohn and Maracas Bay by Anthony Prospect, both pieces arranged by the head of our department Satanand Sharma.

Hopefully results will be out soon so I can better enjoy my first Christmas in Trinidad, but overall it was a good semester. The biggest things I learned was that as weak as I may be I definitely improve with practice (like duh right), coming to Trinidad to do a music/pan degree was definitely not a waste of time, and finally, there are always persons who will do better and worse than yourself.

All these things seem quite obvious but soometimes the obvious just has to hit you in the face before you can accept it.

Its Showtime

2008-11-13T06:17:00.000-08:00

Today I have my first band performance with my Contemporary Workshop Class as part of the UWI's 60th Anniversary celebrations. We're going to be closing today's concert doing about 5 or six jazz pieces. I'm nervous as I usually am before any performance, doubly worse since I'm not completely comfortable with the music. But eyy, the show must go on.

In other news, the department pissed me off last night when I realized that they had gotten some new percussive instruments and locked the music room preventing anyone from getting in. Of course why would we even want to get in when they had apparently taken out most of the instruments anyway to setup for the shows yesterday and today on main campus.

I realise everyday that part of coming to school in another environment means that I am going to be exposed to a lot of different styles and I need to be flexible and not get my knockers in a knit about everything. Anyway, good luck to me.

Arrrrrghh!!

2008-11-04T18:16:00.000-08:00

Yuh know, I really didn't care who won. Yeah sure it would be great if the handsome black man won, woohoo. At the end of the day I don't forsee that great a political change in attitude.

But CNN just now made me see something I'd totally overlooked. They're gonna be total prigs!! If he wins (as stated by one of their panelists) " the world is gonna have to give us more respect than they're doing" , and then the head nodding started. They were all in total agreement that they should be given pats on the back.

Okay here's your pat. You've finally realised as a group (in your 44th presidential race) that women and minorities (maybe I should just tie that up and say marginalised groups) have front line potential.

People, please don't let it go to your heads. Make me a liar cause all I can hear is a chorus of Americans singing Kanye "How's it feel to wake up to be the s***t and the urine."

Ramblings

2008-11-02T12:31:00.000-08:00

Why do we spend time pursuing things of no interest to ourselves?

What will it be like to survive doing the things that we truly love?

Bundle of Joy

2008-10-29T22:10:00.000-07:00

For she's a jolly good fellllow, for she's a jolly good feeellow, for she's a jolly good fee he loooow,which nobody can deny. Hip Hip, HOORAY!!!

We welcome the birth of Abia Katherine Elizabeth Robinson to our double tenor family. (I hear seh we have more than one man dere to so m nah bodda call the odda D word, yuh zi mi)

While I must express my disappointment that at the last moment they did not choose my name to grace their daughter, I am satisfied that they chose and even better one. (I'd be a real chump if I said "Honeybee" trumps "God is my Father")

Here's to a future filled with glad tidings, joy and prosperity and above all, strong wrists.

For she's a jolly good fellllooww, for she's a jplly good feeellow, for she's a jollly goood fee - ee looowww, an so say all of we.

Great Evening

2008-10-29T22:00:00.000-07:00

Just came from a pann jazz concert held in Exodus' panyard. Fabulous. There are a series of panjazz concerts being held during the month with the final one being held this Saturday . Not all of the acts play pan or perform jazz but in the main they stick to that theme. On Friday there'll be a street parade in Port of Spain, and tomorrow another concert in Port of Spain.

The one I just came from featured Exodus, a Canadian band called canefire (double seconds, keyboard, sax, horn, congos, drums, bass guitar) and the final act for the night, Black Stalin and the Roy Cape band.

Did I mention that this 3 1/2 hour concert was completely free?

Yep. Safe to say I had a great evening

The week in review

2008-10-16T19:12:00.000-07:00

Had our first test on Monday. Pitch and rhythm, managed to pass so that's the first hurdle over. Next week's test I don't think will be as good but we'll see. So I'm basically in the swing of things here.

Work in the morning, class in the afternoon, practice and lunch in between, review of classwork and assorted lyming afterwards. Saturday mornings I'm at school for 8 am, a part of our Instrumental music course was an option for community service in arts with children. So I assist along with teachers and other students with the running of activities for little pickaninees like art and recorder class etc. A bonus for me is that the recorder teacher will be helping me to boost up my music theory after class for an hour. YIPPEE!!

All of this is highly new to me since this is first time I've been exposed to very young children for any length of time. Worse I actually have to interact with them. They're not ten bad. They actually kinda grow on you. (Don't be getting any smart ideas now ppl).

Happy to say that I made contact with "our" (aka Panoridim's) (former?) tuner today. Seems the remnants of Hurricane Omar that lashed the Eastern caribbean blew him down to Creative Arts Centre. Now all I have to do is come up with a sure fire way to get him to loan me a double tenor since the school only have THREE!!!!!!! Oh yeah and I made contact with the bass section leader from Exodus on saturday. Cool lady. Yeah, practice for Panorama starts sometime around the second week in January. If I didn't have exams and a performance in November I'd try to jump in on their practice for World Festival now.

Practice tomorrow morning Oooh bwoy. Rolls for 16, on chromatic. Yeah, just now I go start writing wit my toes. practice, and practice and practice and...

Trinidad Update

2008-10-07T15:04:00.000-07:00

Thanks to David for warning me about some things here.

When you go to an abm trinis come inside. I thought he meant friends... Yeah, so like why should they all wait outside in the hot sun when there's ac and space in the abm machine. With you.

Now is when I realise how paranoid I am. Not everyone walks with their bag hitch up under their arm like they think someone's out to rob them. Ppl don't turn around ever so often to check who's walking on the road behind them. And they certainly don't think that coming into the abm machine at the same time you're in there is weird. And no, I'm not talking about those huge spaces that have multiple abms.

Apart from that trinis like their roadkill in this order:

Frogs
Snakes
Pedestrians

As of yet no one has told me that I am my mother's vagina (Ask David/Gay to break that one down for you) but that may be because I don't use the pedestrian crossing! HAHAHAHAH , (don' mind I not gone crazy yet)

So far I am having a ginormous blast in Trinidad. I live in a small apartment building about 5 mins walk from my school and 12 mins walk from the main campus. My classes are cool (you tube rocks!) and I never think twice about why I'm studying in this area. Peace of mind in that area is a wonderful thing, and if I had not done my first degree and spent x number of years working before I did this, I would not have appreciated it as much.

The best class for me is contemporary workshop ie a jazz band class. 5 -8PM on a friday and its like going to a jam session not a three (or more) hour class. Oh yeah, we have a UWI performance mid November and we still don't know all the pieces we're gonna play :-D but ayy, ain't no scene.

I also realise just how behind the rest of my peers in certain areas I am (is one thing to play an instrument but then to discuss the different aspects of what you do and what you're hearing is a separate matter). I was telling a friend that I was more than a bit intimidated. I did come here to learn however, and that's what I'm doing. Classes finish on Nov 28 which is kinda scary (I hate exams) and part of my assessment is to play for 4 mins in front of my peers and teachers (not too bad as long as I can get some decent music and polish it up properly. No skating for this diva!!)(Oh yeah, don't forget the performance on the 12th or 17th).

Okay so plan for tomorrow. Go to work in morning. Leave exactly on time (noon). Practice your homework again for at least 2 hours this time before your half hour session with Mrs Headley @ 4. Study group after class (make sure to tidy up your room before you leave the apartment) Touch a pan again sometime in the evening. Look over notes for next day. Lyme at Aunt Deborah's when I'm done all of that. Go over your sight reading solfa exercises for the test on Monday on aunt Deborah's keyboard. Eat at various points in between all of that. Sleep.

Yep, good to go.

Woooiiii, Rayyyyy!!

2008-09-10T10:59:00.000-07:00

MUhahahahahah, and so it began..

They let the diva into the land of oil and soca..

Wow, I still can't believe I'm really in Trinidad. LOL, would you believe that there are relatives who still don't know I've left?

Man this campus is bigger than I thought. Nuff nuff walking up an down, and bear sweat jus a run.

Classes are in the afternoon, non of them start before 4 and on Wednesdays I have only half an hour for individual pan lessons. For now Fridays are free but that will change in october when I do a jazz class from 5-8pm, and I am happy.

Yes , I still have no definite idea about how I'm going to turn my degree into a career but I no longer have doubts about coming to Trinidad. Nuff respec to all the crazy ppl who had faith in me , especially Seeker, Rae and Katherine for helping me to clean house and pack :-D

I still haven't reached to a panyard yet but time enuff for that.

Mel

Pedestrians and Passengers

2007-06-28T09:37:00.000-07:00

And yet another of the group has caught the spoogiedom train. As a lowly pedestrian still waiting for the train I can not but notice the benefits of finally catching said train. For example, the relaxation one feels now that the load of life has been made less burdensome. Passengers it has been noted are more friendly, patient and flexible.

There is also the good cheer of fellow passengers/pedestrians when one has gotten on board after waiting at the train crossing for some time. This is of course only highlights the nature of the train system which as they say is "never on schedule but always on time" (shrug that's public transportation for you :-)

For us pedestrians whether waiting patiently or walking to another train track, please remember to observe the rules of the road. (Yes they apply to pedestrians as well). Simple things that you learned from your parents will keep you safe; Look both ways before crossing, do not step out into oncoming traffic etc. Granted these days buses trains and all manners of vehicles seem to be jumping the curb and bouncing us pedestrians, but it still pays to follow these simple tips. Selah.

Moving Out

2007-06-27T10:52:00.000-07:00

(sniff sniff) I feel like the proverbial child that's finally leaving the roost (sniff sniff) Come Monday morning I will start a new job. "Waaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

I'm happy that I'm finally moving on to something else but I'm sad to go. I've been here since I was a still a student. I know everyone and their habits. Plus I can walk to work and pan! Ahh well.

I go to a position with definitely more responsibility, challenges and pressure. But I'll also have more opportunity, meet new people and be that much closer to reaching my final goal of a music degree.

Wish me luck guys!

But ah wah di eyy!!

2007-06-15T13:55:00.000-07:00

I looking at this ting now an I realize is actually 89 PUBLISHED posts!!!! This means I actually have 11 more posts to do. Like Duh stupid :-S

Anyway, simplify di ting. Can't bodda stretch out this post thing I'm just going to give my top 3 picks and y'all can pitch in with your own picks (whether your own blog or mine).

At number 3 - I pick a more recent post For Want of Questioning .Solid stuff. Looks at my spirituality and some reasons for the path I'm on. It also puts out questions that most persons will have asked themselves somewhere along the line.
Next in line 2 - Coincidentally called Take Two it's one of my earliest pieces. Again it's solid food for thought, giving way too much insight into me and the things that make me who I am.
And the grand finale 3 - Pansong. My passion.

Countdown to 100

2007-04-24T13:58:00.000-07:00

mmm, not feeling very bloggy today but since I am only 6 blogs away from the 100 mark I feel I should put something out there. What I shall do in fact is to count down my 5 best posts to date going from number 5 to the top.

now I'm feeling all enthused :-D

For Want of...questioning?

2007-04-13T07:25:00.000-07:00

I believe everyone is familiar with that poem that tells how a battle was lost all for want of a little nail. It's a reminder to pay attention to the little details for they are more important than they might seem to be. For want of consistent prayer I have little faith. Given a religious background that indicates that in addition to faith one needs grace things might not seem so desperate... yet. I don't buy into the concept of doing things out of fear, not for anything. If you are going to do. say. believe anything you should do it for the love. But the reality is that I am I am not Duncan McLeod and ain't no theme music playing for me. In much the same way that I have been pro active about looking for employment I should take the steps to effect positive change in my spiritual life.

There needs be a difference however, starting fromt the basic building blocks upward with simple questions. What do I hold sacred? Do I believe humans possess souls? Do we have a lasting effect on our spiritual environment ? What are my perceptions of my role (if any) in life?Do I believe that there is a divinity that controls the course of life ?

Like I said. Simple questions.

I come from a background of a middle class Christian family who followed the spirit not the letter of the Bible and were curious about their place in this universe. At a crucial point in life when I was having some strong and seemingly daily conflicts with my immediate family members (read teenage years) I started attending yoga classes with my godmother on life management. Talk about getting a dose of pain relief. It was only a starting point however, as it made me start to question many assumptions I didn't realize I had. Later down the road after another influential point in life (death of mother) my pastor (Methodist church) informs me that the church I grew up in and that my grandmother was a lay preacher for (Unity) was not Christian. (Honestly I haven't even begun examining that one yet). Bwoy, yet another assumption highlighted.

Today it only now strikes me that there might be a non mental reason why I seem like a rolling stone to myself (although you never can tell :-D) but it only points out further reasons to put my faith on a sure footing. Wherever I may eventually choose to place it.

Learning Curve

2007-03-28T15:47:00.000-07:00

I learn at the feet of the great ones before me
The storied and laurelled
The unsung and devious

Where I wait they are swift,
My eyes blinkered by things I am barely conscious of

the awe of the student becomes annoyance
the painful lesson
the wheel cannot be reinvented

annoyance fades to acceptance
fluidity of understanding
temperance of time

I learn at the feet of the great ones before me
my eyes now open
to see the cracks of their soles
and the weariness of their smiles

M. Woodham March 2007

Music I love: 2

2007-03-09T07:06:00.000-08:00

Yep this is going to be a regular series. Here's another song by Yoko Kanno from the Cowboy Bebop movie soundtrack, once again lyrics are provided courtesy of stlyrics.com . I found an amv with the song from the last post "No Reply" on You Tube but nothing for this one unfortunately :-(

Artist: Yoko Kanno
Song: Gotta Knock A Little Harder
Lyrics: Tim Jensen

Happiness is just a word to me, and it might have meant a thing or two
If I'd known the difference
Emptiness, a lonely parody, and my life, another smokin' gun
A sign of my indifference

Always keepin' safe inside,where no one ever had a chance
To penetrate a break in
Let me tell you some have tried, but I would slam the door so tight
That they could never get in

Kept my cool under lock and key, and I never shed a tear
Another sign of my condidtion
Fear of love or bitter vanity, that kept me on the run
The main events at my confession

I kept a chain upon my door,that would shake the shame of Cain
Into a blind submission
The burning ghost without a name ,was calling all the same
But I wouldn't listen

The longer I'd stall, the further I'd crawl
The further I'd crawl, the harder I'd fall
I was crawlin' into the fire
The more that I saw, the further I'd fall
The further I'd fall, the lower I'd crawl
I kept fallin' into the fire

Suddenly it occurred to me, the reason for the run and hide
Had totalled my existence
Everything left on the other side, could never be much worse than this
But could I go the distance?

I faced the door and all my shame, tearin' off each piece of chain
Until they all were broken
But no matter how I tried, the other side was locked so tight
That door it wouldn't open

Gave it all that I got, and started to knock
Shouted for someone to open the lock
I just gotta, get through the door

And the more that I knocked, the hotter I got
The hotter I got, the harder I'd knock
I just gotta, break through the door

Gotta knock a little harder, Gotta knock a little harder
Gotta knock a little harder, Break through the door

Music I love

2007-03-06T07:14:00.000-08:00

I discovered one of my favourite artists and composers through watching anime ( in particular the series Cowboy Bebop ). While reading throught the credits I realized that all the music from the series was original and had been composed by one person namely Yoko Kanno . Subsequently I've been googling and youtubing and downloading and all that jazz to find out more about her and her music.

Here are the lyrics for one of my favourite songs which comes from the original soundtrack of the Cowboy Bebop movie. (Eventually I will learn how to put music on this site). The lyrics were taken from www.stlyrics.com

Artist: Yoko Kanno
Song: No Reply
Lyrics: Tim Jensen

Like the perfect ending, It won't be long,
Till everything I've ruined has seen me gone,
In time, I pray you'll forgive,
Now you know the man I am, Can you forgive me?

I fall, Like the sands of time,
Like some broken rhyme, At feet no longer there.

If only I could call the rain to melt and wash away the pain you feel
I would
You gave yourself to me and showed me what the truth could be
For that, I say thank you
This was my life
It never made much sense to me...

With every lie that I lived, Part of me would fade,
Into this empty shadow I've become, And now I feel so numb,
I no longer know myself, But I still know you.

I call, And there is no reply,
Like some phantom cry, On ears too far away,

I close my eyes and watch as my life passes by,
The only thing I see is you,
For all the times you walked the line for me and standing by my side, I say thank you,
Here lies my life, It never felt that real to me.

You'll always mean so much to me
And there's no reply, And there's no reply,
You'll never know how much you meant to me,
And there's no reply, And there's no reply,
You'll never know how much you meant to me.

If only I could call the rain to melt and wash away the pain you feel. I would.
You gave yourself to me and showed me what the truth could be.
For that, I say thank you.

This was my life.It never made much sense to me...

I close my eyes and watch as my life passes by,The only thing I see is you,
For all the times you walked the line for me and standing by my side,
I say thank you,
You in my life,
It all meant so much more to me.

Changes 2

2007-03-01T08:34:00.000-08:00

Circular thoughts like a dog biting it’s own tail
What breaks the sado- masochistic cycle?
(Assuming a circle can be broken stretched and recreated into a line with an end)
The true desire and willingness for change

Change is frightening
It’s new
I have no experience with it

What is frightening is my refusal to shed childish thinking.
What other universal truth exists but that
Change is constant

Yes! Change with a Capital or common c.
I have already changed without being consciously aware
My root complaint must then be that I am cowardly
And live in fear of the change that I should be

The comfort of the same or the exhilaration of the future?
Bearing in mind change is already unfolding
Without me
How does it end?

Mummy Mel Feb 2007

KES the band

2007-02-26T11:29:00.000-08:00

KES the band performed on stage along side Nadia Batson last Friday at mas Camp. When I tell yuh seh a show sell off!! I had no idea that KES was so good. They really left a good impression and kept the crowd going for the entire time that they were onstage. If any one wants more info on them just check out their website. As a matter of fact I'm putting some other links here as well that everyone should check out.

http://www.kestheband.com/
http://www.rootzunderground.com/
http://www.machelmontano.com/

Dutty Wine vs any other wine

2007-02-12T10:31:00.000-08:00

In response to this topic all I can say is, "A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet"

Four days and counting

2007-02-12T09:48:00.000-08:00

I had a great time at Mas Camp. It was a literal homecoming. The dj was horrible , but I suppose it shows how great a time I had since he couldn't spoil the night. Nuff respec going out to the latest additions to the posse; Raeven , Thinkbass and the Percussionist.

"Chip chip chippin an we chippin an we chip chip every night everyday.." -Insomnia-Rupee

Carnival Again

2007-02-08T09:03:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again folks. Yep. The mas camp posse has returned bigger and better than before. As of tomorrow there will be no need to ask what my plans for the next ten fridays are.

"Wave to the sky, carnival. I see everybody jumpin
Wave to the sky, bachannal, I see everybody jumpin
Take a jump take a jump take a jump take a jump take a jump take a wave
Everybody jumpin !"

Wave -Destra Garcia

Roar

2007-02-05T08:35:00.000-08:00

I am lion hear me roar
I am a sound too large to be ignored
I rumble and fuss and growl and stalk
I will dog your steps and watch you walk

"Roar!" said the lion to the unsuspecting girl
"I am the king of this here lair and everything within this world
To survive on this path you must pay the toll
Two orders from Dragon City of their very best spring rolls"

(Posted by a very hungry person)

Inside Jokes

2007-02-01T10:53:00.000-08:00

The door to my office has a control arm to prevent it from slamming shut. Apart from just being a big heavy door, the control arm was recently tightened so its even harder to open the door. I am amused every time I see someone attempting to struggle with the door, most of all one of my co-workers. This individual was asked (on more than one occasion while it was being fixed) to make sure that it would not be too difficult to open. Well guess what, said same person finds the door too difficult. It's also quite hilarious to see the number of persons who are convinced that the office is locked because they cannot open the door.

Dates to remember

2007-01-30T11:55:00.000-08:00

January 16 - Birthday of friend
January 24 - Death of brother's godmother
January 25 - Birthday of friend
January 27 - Birthday of friend, birth of first child of other friend
January 29 - Death of mother, Birthday of two friends

Life is a continuous cycle of renewal and change

Bad man fi dead

2007-01-08T08:00:00.000-08:00

I started commenting on Seeker's post "Death of a Dictator" http://jusidle.blogspot.com/ but it was too long for just a comment so i've decided to post it instead.

"Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us". This line from the Lord's Prayer is a fundamental part of Christianity. I don't think other religions or rational thinking persons for that matter can really fault this view. It's quite healthy, very civilsed and all that.

That doesn't stop me one whit from being happy that Saddam is dead, that he was not accidentally killed, and that quite a few persons were there to see it happen. Moreover I do take a certain satisfaction in the ignominy of his execution. I will put forward the controversial view that I needed him to die in a manner similar to one that he has inflicted on others before I can start to forgive. I will go so far as to say he got his just desserts.

The Wicked Warlock of the East is dead, Long live the Wicked Warlock of the West

New Year

2007-01-08T06:15:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to all my adoring fans!

I'd just like to thank God for giving me friends who convinced me to start a blog last year. Now they could finally breath a sigh of relief and say "Thank God now I don't actually have to listen to her anymore"

To my coworkers, family members, friends, romantic interests et al who have inspired these numerous posts. Thank you for providing me with so much to do in my obvious abundance of free time. What would I have done without that axe , the grinder, the whet stone and the substance for the things I jab about? A million thanks just... aren't... enough.

For those whom I have left out don't take it personally, I will get around to thanking you in my own way.

Oncew again Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!

A sigh on the breeze

2006-12-22T06:53:00.000-08:00

You're a song I sing on the grey days, when the sky is blue and the flowers are bright.
The silence of the crowd makes your presence even more wanted, the absence that's absorbed by the whole.

Putting carts before horses

2006-12-12T05:58:00.000-08:00

Bwoy. Now things like this I just shake my head over. So you have an institution and you expect that within a certain period of time the numbers of persons in this instituition are going to increase by a projected amount. When these persons do appear within your established time frame, why is it only months after their arrival that you realize you have a problem accommodating them. The facilities you provide them with have not increased in any way and you are in fact planning on bringing in yet more persons to meet your quota.

Now that just ain't right.

Dark Caverns

2006-12-06T07:36:00.000-08:00

Sometimes those moments loom suddenly like a car crash. Literal waves of despair, dark and dank, overbearing. Panic threatens. All inferiorities magnified and unbalanced. Contexts changed chaotically. Some months will be fine , some months won't. So far there's never been a time where the wave lasted for more than a few minutes before the sea calmed. The waves continue coming even wih no disturbances in the area. On the whole I don't think I can be prepared even if I get a two week weather forecast. The best I hope for is to endure the ride.

New Fave

2006-11-28T12:26:00.000-08:00

Have found a site (courtesy of my big bro) called http://www.crunchyroll.com which allows me to watch streaming videos of all my favourite animes. This is the best quality site I've seen , I mean it definitely tops everything. Literally I've been spending hours after work just sitting down and watching back to back episodes of Bleach, and when I'm finished I'll be doing the same thing for Cowboy Bebop.

CrunchyRoll Baby!!

Pounding the pavement?

2006-11-28T09:07:00.000-08:00

So I've heard from one of the places I applied to, they filled the position the same week :S Still trying to get word from the other place. Wondering now if I should start hitting the pavement and beating the bushes. Ah well, I've always been told that good jobs are hard to find, especially if you're being picky so I shall think nothing of it.

Patriotism

2006-11-20T09:16:00.000-08:00

What's the colour of patriotism? Some might argue it's the red of your blood, or the green of your land. Well my colour is copper. Yep bright metallic copper tone

The same colour and mineral structure as a ten or twenty five cent coin.

If you really want to support your country then use your "red money". It's legal tender and accepted anywhere they take Master card or Visa in this island.

Stop taking them for a joke. All too often I see people screwing up their faces and bitchin about the state of the economy and how the dollar depreciating every day. Well how the hell you expect the economy to get any better if you don't do your little part. Support your Jamaican products, and support your own damn currency! Money doesn't exist in a vacuum and very simply put if you throw away and scorn it on the ground it ain't going to sprout into a magical beanstalk. It has to be used and circulated and above all appreciated. You and your granny-horse-dead-cow-fat struggle so hard for di likkle money.

Tap fling it weh!

All the same U.S. dollar that you buying up like it going out of style, you think that's going to make your own dollar any stronger? No it Ain't. So stop with the terrorist activities. All you do, every time you get the coins, put it in a jar and at the end of the month jus go change it at the bank.

Build Jamaica, Save in Jamaica(n)

Sitting on the moon

2006-11-20T08:42:00.000-08:00

You're a consummate friend and a real man's man
But you're not cocky. You don't limp, there's no swagger or machismo. Nope
None of that.
There's a bounce to your step that lifts you off the ground.
Separates you from the norm.

Carries you to the moon.
Cause that's where dreams go.
All the way up to the man in the moon.
That moon must get pretty heavy , what with all the ppl I've been sending up there lately.

mmm, well lookihere!
Seems like I'm sitting pretty high up myself,
"Yes thank you, I'd certainly love some tea Mr. Moon"
Still don't know how I got here but I'll certainly enjoy the view.

Blah

2006-11-15T10:33:00.000-08:00

So I'm in this phase now where everything seems pretty blah. But it's all good. I've sent out two job applications so far, have settled on doing a certificate course in music in September, and have been dating someone for a couple of weeks. I have also spoken with some of my immediate family members and friends and they are supportive of my decision. I suppose its blah cause I've sorted out what my plans are and am making the steps to see them through.

Hmmm, considering that in a few months things will begin to get hectic I should really try and enjoy this "blah" period.

Because

2006-11-09T08:52:00.000-08:00

Because you are my friend
Because I love you so
Because you said you cared for me and you'd miss me when I go

Because you took my heart
Because you read my mind
Because we know there's lots of time before we cross that line

Because I am an idler
Because I have the time
Because I feel these creative juices that I can't keep inside

Because this is a poem
Because this is a rhyme
Because I just don't have any other constructive thing to find to do at this time :D

Ponderings

2006-10-27T13:46:00.000-07:00

What is the balance of time in the space between life and death?

Is it any easier to do good for the multitude or good for one when the price to yourself is constant?

I experience the world through my own being. Whatever other influences I allow in my life are still bound by this fact. Why then is it arrogant to think the world revolves around me?

Quis custodius custodiet?

Vague

2006-10-27T13:01:00.000-07:00

I've started this so many times and never could complete it
The words inadequate, or melodramatic

I've said it and showed it,
pedantic, I shan't repeat it

Alma Mater

2006-10-24T08:44:00.000-07:00

Hail Campion Hail
Faith and Courage will prevail
Truth, Integrity, Honour, Liberty
These shall never never fail

Shine Campion Shine
May you ever be a sign
That within our land we bring heart and hand
Reaching out in love and unity

Rise Campion Rise
Raise your banner to the skies
With your red and white leading to the height
Ever onward, upward rise

Sing Campion Sing
To our Island may you bring
Champions pure and bold like our saints of old
Brave and Loyal,
Hail oh Campion Hail

Sliding back, stepping forward

2006-10-17T15:39:00.000-07:00

What a prekeh. Tings just a slide out a mi han den like mi deliberately a open mi han dem. Talk bout foot in moutitis, apparently it came along with the stuffy nose. Need to do some serious re -evaluation of self and interaction with other people. Mi glad seh tings work out the way dem work out all di same but lawwks :S It shoulda neva haffi go so.

Need to take things more seriously . On that score I need to tek mi head out of mi damn ass and get my act together. New job needed first, area not completely relevant, it's a means to an end. Next step, get into a music programme somewhere, preferably somewhere with steel pan, after that I can take the passion and make it work for me.

Also need to repeat the words "means to an end" everyday. Waiting in limbo is non productive , especially when I have no idea what it is I'm waiting for. Prioritise, strategize and renergize.

Yup the makings of a new years resolution. Step one check. Stepping forward with step two.

Happenings in my Area

2006-10-13T07:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning a woman down the road was held up at gunpoint and her car stolen. Praise the Lord!

This morning a man was shouting at the end of my street about someone's b*****cl*** . Thank you Lord!

Why I am I saying praise and thank you? Because I have seen worse things happen. The woman who got held up was not made to drive her car away from the scene of the crime, raped and threatened if she reported the incident. She did not have to spend agonizing months taking God knows how many different kinds of pills and injections to prevent an S.T.D. or an unwanted pregnancy. Nor the rage and guilt which is an inevitable part of rape. Praise the Lord only her car was stolen.

The man at the end of the road only shouted his rage. He did take it out on his children or baby mother with a 2 * 4 plank that has nails projecting at odd angles. He didn't launch miniature boulders at the object of his rage. Thank you Lord that you guided his heart and hands.

There are so many incidents like these that happen everywhere, everyday to people I see. When you see what's happening in your area, just stop and think, maybe it's not as bad as it could have been.

Thank Yous

2006-10-12T07:44:00.000-07:00

So many persons have helped to shape me into the person I am today. Their advice and support whether negative or positive has altered the course of my life in some way, and I am grateful for that. In many instances it wasn't what was overtly done or not done as much as the way in which it was done.

At times it was nothing that affected me directly, simply my observations of how these persons behaved. The way they lived their lives and the way they affected others. Thank you for being you. For living life and for being alive.

The more I explore the world and my role in it is the more I realize that all persons are connected. The degree of separation varies but there remains the inextricable link to humanity in all aspects. To love the world is to love myself, to hate the world is to hate myself and to thank someone, is to acknowledge your connection to the whole.

Thank you.

Shadowing

2006-10-06T09:26:00.000-07:00

Bwoy oh bwoy. Let me just put it on the record that one of the most important lessons I was taught by my section leader when I joined the band was how to shadow and shadow well. Having been involved in the performing arts for many years before joing the band I knew that whatever happened the show must go on. Above that the audience must never have a clue that something has gone awry.

When it come to my playing I put out a whole lot of effort, but yesterday it would appear that I had just learned to play pan and they threw me into the deep end with a concert. I had on my glasses to make matters worse. Usually when I perform on stage I remove them partially so they won't fall off and partially so I don't have to see the audience. Its easier to play that way. Yesterday there were no barriers. EEEK!! They could see me and worse , now I could SEE THEM :S

Anyway the show went on. Much kudos to all the persons who eventually trickled in to gives us a near to full house, still more kudos to the pannists who kept the energy flowing. Hopefully I'll give a better account of myself next time.

My favourite things

2006-10-04T15:45:00.000-07:00

Chocolate covered brownies with chocolate fudge and chips. Ruby red lollipops. Tatoos and piercings. Hands that make mine look small. Blue skies and beaches. Total trust and comfort. Air travel. Not having a care in the world.

These are a few of My Favourite Things. What are yours?

Misled

2006-10-04T15:36:00.000-07:00

Ignore your senses, they will betray you every time
They cannot tell the difference between friend and foe, or right and wrong
Only your mind can do that.

Do not be a slave to logic
Its certain rationality ignores the need for chaos in our lives

Achieve the balance and walk the line my friend
Walk it all the way through

(8) A girl like me(8)

2006-09-22T14:41:00.000-07:00

Have you heard Tanya Stephens' latest song?

I'm always fascinated by the reasons people have for giving bun. Was it through neglect, the excitement of being bad, great sex? Whatever it is Ms Stephens has quite a number of songs dealing with that. Wonder what her husband's take on it is?

The return of...

2006-09-22T12:47:00.000-07:00

Well well, it's been so long since I've last posted. I've successfully survived hell month at the office what with new students trying to get their bearings and the seemingly endless questions they have. The transition from high school to college or university is not the easiest in the world so I fully support students who bring their support group with them, be it parent, spouse SO friend, etc. What I hate seeing is an overly attentive and overbearing parent making choices for a new student. Vicarious living should only be done through magazines and movies people. Don't live your life through your child, furthermore don't try and believe you know better than they do what' they want to do.

Now there are a number of issues at work here, least of all the seventeen years or so worth of experience that many of these parents have with their children. I am sure in some cases I am merely seeing the image of innocence and frustration with a parent that a student wants me to see, when in fact he/she is the devil incarnate. There's the fact that the experience of coming to University is a big deal and the parent is not normally like this, but on that day they just seemed overbearing and will cool off later. There's the possibility that maybe all these years it really has been the parent doing all the work and the student is just a flighty bird who would end up on the streets doing coke if not strongly guided.

The flip side is that the parent has never learnt to let go of his/her image of what the precious baby should be, and truth be told, how many parents actually do completely discard their vision of what they want their children to be? Some are better than others at accepting that their children are separate beings and threat them as such. Some go businesslike, their child/ children is/are an investment which must be recouped with maximum profit and protected fiercely in a harsh environment. Looking at the bottom line what safer long term investment than medicine or law could you have? Sciences come third, Business fourth and the Arts......? well unless your 1 year plays the violin with his teeth then no. All of this accompanied by the attitude "mother knows best" is just too disgusting to watch. Maybe one day some kind of happy compromise can be reached. Maybe.

Emotional

2006-08-09T10:08:00.000-07:00

It doesn't happen very often but when it does it disturbs my equilibrium for the entire day. The newspaper headline in the Gleaner today was "Kids die in blaze: Heroic dad jumps into flames to save three, but dies later" . I've read of children being raped and slaughtered, men and women dying through random violence and stray bullets. Not as a one off event or through civil unrest, no. Just daily life in Jamaica land we love. But this one really got me this morning.

Could have been the photo. The mother was obviously "distressed" but she wasn't down on the ground pulling off her clothes like I've seen before. Someone was standing behind her presumably giving her support, but that person wasn't looking overly upset either. Yet something in her stance or face communicated itself to me.

For the first time in years, the Gleaner lead story made me cry.

I have been numb for a long time.

Wedding Plans

2006-08-03T08:17:00.000-07:00

One of my best friends is getting married this Saturday and I have the privilege of being her Chief Bridesmaid. Watching her go through these detailed lists of people to invite, choosing a menu, reception area, dress styles ..... it just makes me very eager to go off and elope when it's my turn to get married. Hearing her and her fiance express how tired they were and how happy they would be when it's over only reinforces this view.

I will try my hardest to keep my wedding very simple if I can't elope, which means a morning wedding, ie 10am, immediate family and close friends only read 10 friends each and family, no toasts! No church either, marry me near a river like Blue Mountain Inn , then we (bridal party and guests) spend the rest of the day lyming . Now none of this means that the wedding would be any cheaper than a traditional one like my friend is having, but hopefully we can focus on the most important part which is the fact that two ppl are here to pledge their love before God and friends and make a lifelong commitment to each other.

Hmmm, better make sure I find a boyfriend that not into no fuss and veil and heap of cake. Any takers ? :-D

Igleness

2006-07-27T08:01:00.000-07:00

:-P :-P :-P :-P

Adios Amigo

2006-07-27T07:58:00.000-07:00

Walk good and come back soon.

Israel = United States of America

2006-07-27T07:50:00.000-07:00

So..... Did anyone see Big Brother U.S. coming to "defend" it's little brother Israel from that nasty bully Lebanon? mmmmm. Very masterful wasn't it.

Now I really must wonder, is it the collective influence of Jews over the years in the American political system that makes Israel so special? sort of like the Rastafarians and their
back- to -Ethiopia mindset. Or is another American territory that we just haven't heard of as yet?

My American/Israeli history is very deficient so I would appreciate a history lesson on the reason for this alliance from anyone who knows.

One month

2006-07-10T15:41:00.000-07:00

One month until I turn 23 everyone. PLease pool your resources. I would like a pair of double tenor pans.

Off Air in 5, 4 3....

2006-06-29T07:10:00.000-07:00

And as quickly as it started it's gone. I'll be off air after this Friday happy people, so catch your last earful of mummymel reading your papers to you while you laze in bed. I'll find out later if I'll be switching to newswriting or not. Will keep you posted :-D Ciao.

Maureen

2006-06-21T08:51:00.000-07:00

You gave me birth but in the end I was the one you called mummy. Greay hair uncut, unkempt.Knowing that final release from vanity would be the signal of no retreat.

It wasn't a surrender though. neither total nor accepting. We'd taken our stand in the years before , suffered through their blades and chemical warfare. We rose again.

This wasn't a surrender, it was... I don't know what. It was a painful and grateful ending on my part. You got to be where you could dream without limit and smile . That beautiful smile.

We love you. Outward remembrances made internal, maybe fear of our own certain future. But there nontheless. We love you Maureen. Be free.

Blog Ring

2006-06-19T14:08:00.000-07:00

Beyond the Beach Mummy Mel was waiting for her picnic partners to arrive. The pastry so sweet simone would bring, ice and sodas of colours blinding to the eyes. The idle one was to seek pieces of le best pan chicken that simmy said was venting near the site. It promised to be a bashment, basically a big day of feteing . Oh the stories we would tell, of me of you, never reluctant to be intellectually challenging. We chose a theme, fanatasy island, dears but quickly nixed that out. Simple reason truth be told a raven would be left out. The day went well and all was good just lyming and singing at the beach. "We'll blog and lyme and make a rhyme for all the time to come. Ain't nothing better than getting merry with pannists out for fun"

Selah!

2006-06-16T07:12:00.000-07:00

I saw this blog post and had to include it today. Just a little reminder to all of us in the "developing nations " of where we're coming from and the need to keep presing forward with regional integration and unity.

He who stands for nothing falls for anything.

http://bashmentbasses.blogspot.com/2006/06/food-for-thought-2.html

Pansong

2006-06-15T12:55:00.000-07:00

It’s that feel on the inside, the one next to the skin
The promise of a pleasure deep within
It’s knowing that I can or not if I choose
No one to pretend to, nothing to lose

The ting-ta-da-ding of the iron pan
A melody so sweet
Rhythm of the bass pan
Echo in my feet

Goosebumps down my back
A counterbeat a tock tock crack
No pain in this exalted place
No one to disappoint, not a single downcast face

Me on my double pan alone in the night
Learning at my own pace
Singing out of sight

Hear that insistent call of music
Against all weather or sense of time
Doing what it does so smoothly
Party for two, exclusive lyme

Satisfy my craving inhibit my yearning
For this addict life is the fuel the flame ever burning
Passion in a note satisfaction is the melody
Double pans ring out
Give me my voice my spirit flying free.

Unsaid

2006-06-14T07:17:00.001-07:00

Dear _________ ,

Over the past year I have started noticing you . You have always been a _____ _____ but now I find you even more ________. I realize this may come as no surprise given your _____
attitude but I hope you will give my thoughts some consideration. Do not feel pressured in any way to respond to this , but know that you have my _____ _______ should you have need.

Yours _______,

Melissa Woodham

Flying Rumours

2006-06-09T06:56:00.001-07:00

It's fantastic living in an island as small as Jamaica, where it might take years for the former monopoly telephone company to install a landline but the grapevine takes less than a second to download information.

Case in point, after leaving the panyard yesterday evening a number of cars stopped by the side of the road to offer their support to some persons who had been involved in a minor car accident. On returning home my brother tells me that someone told him I had been in a car crash. Now luckily I had called him not too long after I went to the scene of the accident. Since he hadn't called me back while I was on the road I assume eitherI had called pretty soon after he got that info or he made the person clarify the remark, since he wasn't perturbed in any way when I came home. It's things like this that get people into trouble though.

For one thing I saw no one pass by whom I recognised, (wait I think I did glimpse Aunt Sally as I was leaving) nor did anyone signal to me, and only one person (a guy) actually stopped and came out of his car to get the details of the story. Anything else that anyone might have conveyed would only be speculation at this point. In any case I am just happy that there was no real damage done (no heart attacks from my brother) and all parties involved settled matters amicably.

LOL, Spoke too soon

2006-06-07T09:54:00.000-07:00

Apparently Blogger had indigestion and belched up my post. Now I'm amused. Always a silver lining to every cloud.

Stop Eating My Blogs

2006-06-07T09:18:00.000-07:00

I did a nice blog two minutes ago about the fact that I find it difficult to share details about myself to people. I mentioned that I thought it might have been the influence of reading so many Enid Blyton books and translating what I read into rules concerning not bragging about oneself and not tattling. I even said I occasionally feel guilty for not sharing as much with friends as they do with me. On their part I figured that they might be more interested in venting sometimes than actually getting back any information and so I wasn't being secretive, just supportive. Besides, they trust me to come to them if something's important or if I just want to chit chat.

But Blogger ate it. Now I don't feel like talking. I'm off to sulk , catch you later.

Speaking up

2006-06-07T07:51:00.000-07:00

After a conversation with a friend I wondered why I find it hard to reveal information . It could be trivia, it could be great news but I find it hard to reveal details. I don't consider myself secretive, if anything I'm quite open and approachable. But at the same time I don't like telling people my business. Possibly its a dose of British culture from so many Enid Blyton books as a child,to be viewed in the same vein as not tattling and not bragging about one's accomplishments or airing laundry (dirty or otherwise) in public.

Somehow that doesn't quite cover it . Is it a desire to be mysterious or a lack of interest in my own activities ?

Why is it bugging me you may wonder? That at least is easy. I occasionally feel guilty that when people share things with me I don't share in return or share as much. I do realise that sometimes my friends just want a sympathetic ear to vent to and do not always want to get information in return. I think that's one of my stronger points :-D My friends should also appreciate the fact that a secret is a secret and only remains that way when it is unmentioned. If something is important to me then they trust me to speak about it in my own time (at least I believe they do). So far I haven't lost any friends and the only person this seems to bug is me so I'll stop here. I think I've said enough as it is :-D

Tired and Sleepy

2006-06-06T07:33:00.000-07:00

I want to sleeeeep. Reallly really badly. Caught myself nodding off at work yesterday. Ah well, I catch up on that stuff in my lunch hour.
Bed time now.

What century is it?

2006-05-31T13:39:00.000-07:00

When I read the story of the Chagossians I felt such pain and sympathy for those people. The opening lines for Bob Marley's song "War" came to mind. For those unfamiliar with the song it goes like this:

"Until, the philosophy, that holds one race superior and another, inferior, is finally, and permanently, discredited, and abandoned, everywhere is war"

For me such an experience is comparbale only to the days of slavery .When our ancestors were taken forcibly from their homelands and told after returning that they had no right to steward the very lands that they had lived and died on for generations before the invaders even knew it existed. How can you not wish vengeance on those persons? At least that was the first thought.

Young children, young girls and women particularly are sold into slavery every day. That was the second thought. At the very least their land will still be their own... if they can get back there.

And what about Palestine and Israel the thought went on. Centuries of warfare. Palestine now has a government, democratically elected too, that does not recognise the right of its neighbour to exist. (Scratches head) For a second I thought we were in the 21st century, doesn't seem much different from the days of yore . Guess H.G. Wells didn't really need to do any research into time travel since we just repeat ourselves anyway.

Diego Garcia

2006-05-30T14:23:00.000-07:00

I came across this particular piece of civil rights abuse while reading the UK Guardian. In a nutshell, the former British colony of Diego Martin lies in the Chagos Archipelago. The natives had been living there from the days of the slave trade up until the 1950s. The United States had been looking for a site to gain military advantage near the Indian Ocean. They identified a perfect spot on one of the islands near to Diego Garcia and wished to purchase it from the United Kingdom. Fine no problem.

Except....

There were some really exotic and unique flora and fauna on this particular isle. When word of the intended sale and use of the island came forward the environmentalists were outraged and managed to get the island out of harms way. However this still left the US with somewhere to place their base of operations, and Britain just a little bit poorer.

And so...

Casting around their eyes their gaze fell upon our ill fated island. It was in the right location, it was the right size & best of all it was uninhabited. Yep. Uninhabited, save for a few marginal people who could easily be removed to some convenient place. Well that's what they did.

Q.E.D. Actually

Never mind that it's illegal on top of being cruel and inhumane. So the island of Diego Garcia was secretly leased by Britain to the United States in exchange for some money and preferential trading rights.With an automatic extension to lease for 20 years after the original period expired. It was a secret because it was never cleared before the sitting parliaments and flatly denied as being inhabited to the public as well as other accountable bodies. The people of Diego Garcia were declared negligible. And then they were made negligible.

Imagine having your regular food supplies stopped from entering the country. Not immediately critical to be sure but ominous nontheless. Then armed forces enter your country and start poisoning your dogs then clubbing them to death. After that you and your family members, and everyone else's family members are packed up in some animal holding cells to be dumped on another sovereign territory many miles away.

Bad enough this happens to you, but then two separate court cases uphold the verdict that you were treated badly but basically the British Government doesn't have to deal with you. It just makes you want to go through some serious Old Testament style weeping and wailing and knashing of teeth. This month a differnt court case provided some amount of relief, the Chagossians were legally free to return to other Chagossian islands. While still not home, and still under pressure from both British and American governments not to return, it's a big step forward.

You can find out more by doing google searches for Diego Garcia, the book by John Pilger called "Freedom Next Time", the documentary by Pilger "Stealing a Nation" or http://www.infoplease.com/spot/dg.html

What a way to start a day.

Existence

2006-05-16T07:06:00.000-07:00

I looked at the whorls of my fingerprints today. Each one unique, perfectly spaced and aligned. The white stripping skin on my right palm is old. Underneath is fresh and new. So many layers to this peeling onion. "I'll be dead one day", I thought. "I have a finite expiration date." I'm scared of dying. I'm still not comfortable with the concept of what existed before I was born. Tough luck for me. Because I am going to die one day. I better have children. My ego is unhappy that these dying cells won't have a permanent place in society, the only sure fire way to carry on is to dilute my line with someone else's genes. The half life of DNA ensures that some thing will remain. A throwback to my looks and personality maybe in another hundred years. Not the same. Not anywhere near the same as me.

I insist on my existence. hahaha. So much chaff on the wind right? Mustn't forget that one day I might want to die. Give up the struggle on a foam mattress with bed sores instead of stretch marks. A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet, but euthanasia leaves a cerasee flavour. Thanks but no thanks for the help.

"So many different layers" I thought "all of them coming from a single renewing source." But my mind wanders finding the topic too self absorbed for it's liking. The irony of a blog. A fleeting thought pursued passionately, at least while it holds interest. Will that be my fate? A name discovered by accident while on a google search for a missed deadline assignment. Who knows. Who cares. I exist in the now.

Weeks 1- 2

2006-05-12T06:56:00.000-07:00

Bwoy, mi neva know seh two weeks coulda fly so faas. Okay so here's the brief synopsis of the first two weeks. Week one had all the expected flub ups and tongue-twisting moments you could imagine. Highlights include words like levy and aluminium, scripts with sections of words missing and lengthy news reports. Week two saw a very slight improvement in the flub ups but dramatic difference in the flow between myself and my cohost. Awkward pauses smoothing out, but I won't stress too much over that. Week three will be even better.

The early morning rising isn't as bad as I had expected. The hardest part is getting out of the bed. Once I'm up though I'm good to go. The body has made adjustments and is getting into the groove. I have to put in a power nap in the afternoons however to make this adjustment though, but all the better for me. Niggeritis produces the same effect I find :D

In other news on the home front, I'll be budgeting my new found source of income veerrrryy carefully. I still have my eye on doing a masters early next year and I know I'm definitely going to have to foot some part of that bill. We'll see whether or not it can stretch to cover going to Trinidad next year for "di real lyme" (Amazing how these things all fall within the same general part of the year)

At some point in time I'm going to watch "Glory to Glorianna", a locally produced , directed, and starred movie but for purposes of review. I'm looking for at least two persons to accompany me on this expedition. Volunteers are expected to provide their own fare and refreshments.
The big brother is in rehersals for another musical. This one I can already recommend without having seen a costume rehearsal. It's called "Once on this Island" and features another great Campion product in fellow blogger www.gimmeasecond.blogspot.com . Do look out for more updates on this one.
The next two weekends are going to be pan-demonium with a beach lyme and soul searching meeting this week, then the "Mobay or bust" Summer edition lyme the following week. Allow me to be the first to sing "what happens in the party /stays in the party" as there will be no spoilers or rehashes of that event on this site.

All in all, May promises to be a month to remember :-D

Curfew

2006-05-02T12:19:00.000-07:00

On Monday I got to test Seeker's theory that I run off solar energy.

I started working as a newsreader at a local radio station ...great :-D. I get an extra source of income and experience in my field. I have to get out of bed by 4am to make it to the station at 5am .....Not so much fun now.Having to do this Monday - Friday.... looking even worse. Being in bed by 10:30 pm to get suffiecient sleep. Draw brakes! 10:30pm :S Say it isn't so. What kind of lymer goes to bed at 10:30. Ah well, such is life.

I must say being able to welcome the dawn every day has been an unexpected bonus. We'll see what the end of this week brings. Hope I'm awake long enough to do a synopsis.

2006-05-01T07:56:00.000-07:00

You know it's that time of year when the emptiness of the bed isn't welcoming anymore. It's just the beginning of the third month. This is a disturbing trend. To be fair it's been 8mths in real terms .Likeliest solution is to simply spend less time at home. So....who's up for a lyme?

Sweet sweet bacchanal

2006-04-27T07:52:00.000-07:00

Carnival came and it was fun cyaan dun :-D. Started off with the usual suspects attending all the Mas Camp Friday night Fetes save one, then the Joker's Wild J'ouvert into road march, then the actual Carnival Road Parade.

In terms of ranking the Friday night fetes worked out overall as the best experience, with Road March second and J'ouvert taking bronze. Every week a group of us would fete at Mas Camp until after 2am and having a whale of a time. Occasionally we'd be joined by two or three other lymerz and just have even more fun, at times going to Island Grill for an early breakfast (or truth be told just to continue the lyme, on one occasion we even hung around looking at a car as the excuse to lyme :-D )

Road March was great pure and simple. Met up with my friends who were playing mas in the morning, then lymed with some other people roun the corner, then went back on the road and jumped for most of the route :-D Yes indeed Mummy Mel came prepared with her bag of goodies (chicken sandwiches galore and tropicana fruit drinks). Afterwards I met up with more friends on the road then planned an ice cream lyme (which went seriously over my estimated cut off time). Will do my best to play mas properly next year.

Joker's Jouvert fell down on a couple of counts but was still overall enjoyable

Machel Montano whom I specifically went to see had performed almost exactly the same set at one of the Mas Camp fetes only a few weeks previously. But of course how often do I get to see Machel perform :-D My condolences to the poor foolish woman who thought she was prepared to dance with him on stage.
I didn't have a Screaming Orgasm. This was a blend of various rum creams with condensed milk served with crushed ice that I had last year. The bar this year only had some rum cream liquore or Wray and Nephew rum cream, so my hopes were dashed. I'm a Sangster's and Bailey's girl.
Silly kids started a silly fight

I definitely enjoyed myself this Carnival season , looking forward to an even better one next year.

Lymerz.com

2006-04-19T07:05:00.000-07:00

I am officially a chronic lymer. Since last week I've been to the beach (twice :D, three if you count beach jouvert) , hosted lymes by my yard, lyming after a non-practice until 11:30, going to a parking lot/club woooo... The fun just doesn't stop. This week and the next promise to be more of the same with my favourite soca artiste performing at Joker's Wild Jouvert (di real big man, nuff said) and another beach lyme the following week.

I'm happy , can ya tell? :-D

Giving Praise

2006-04-04T09:33:00.000-07:00

I hated getting up early in the mornings to go to morning devotions at school. In the way of all rote learning however those hymns have stuck with me more than the more complex tunes I've since learned.This short one goes back to my first prep school (I switched prep schools when I was in grade 5).

Thank you, for giving me this morning
Thank you, for giving me today
Thank you , for every new day dawning
I'll be thanking you (Ohohoh :-) )

Thank you, for all the birds and flowers
Thank you, for all the hills and trees
Thank you, for simply being with me
Lord above thank you.

Unfortunately I don't know the author of this piece. It was from a book of Caribbean School Hymns that I believe is used in many schools. A cute little orange book with some flowers on the cover.

The simplicity and beauty of hymns like these not only highlight the skills of our Caribbean writers, but illustrate the importance of the care that must be taken with institutionalized religious education. There is much more to say on this matter but I will put that in a separate post, suffice to say I am pro religious education in schools and group devotions.

Hidden Treasure

2006-03-24T07:30:00.000-08:00

In my forays into poetry I've realized two things. First that I've always thought good poetry difficult to write and hence have stayed close to prose. Secondly, now that I've started writing I have this intense dislike of the pieces I've written. Almost as soon as I've posted I want to delete what I've written. Makes me laugh a bit though. If this act of creation or expression leaves such a bad aftertaste, I pray for any children I might have :D

Breathless laugh
Tingling skin
Sweet sweet kiss
Crazy madness
Again and again
No….no…n
Again….yes

Wait come back here
Impish heavenly delight
Laughter and kisses

Friendly touches increase in temperature,
Duration,
Pressure,
Rhythm
moving, like the same dance with the right beat
too sweet

Groaning
Vision not sensitive enough to chart feeling
Mercy! Is this me? YES

Sweet Lord how do you do this
so disgustingly easily,

Match me, reach me, tempt me
hidden treasure mine to unearth
Touch me, reach me, tempt me,
know me,
Hidden treasure half uncovered
Another day to discover
where friendship leads

M. Woodham

Inorganic

2006-03-21T15:30:00.000-08:00

I remember how it started.
I haven't forgotten you.
at least i think so

Are you ok?
Yeah I'm cool.
wonder what you'll do

There's nothing you can change.
I can't give you hope.
you look really sad

When did we die?
Is there someone else?
how are you going to cope

I'll always have your back.
Will always care.
they say you never forget your first.

Rediscovering

2006-03-21T09:15:00.000-08:00

It's nice to rediscover things about yourself that you hadn't remembered or had attributed to being side effects of other things. I'm rediscovering that I have restless feet. I like to move around and experiment with new ideas and things. I may run off sunlight :D but I have a definite affinity for crisp clear moonlit nights, preferably out in the open.

Being alone and quiet and hearing the world pass you by. Being alone and quiet and observing the beauty of nature, now that's even better.

Seeing the expressions on someone's face when they've found something that's nice and surprising.

Knowing you've still got "it" Whatever that's supposed to be :D

(8) Blame it on the Music (8)

2006-03-15T08:30:00.000-08:00

I've been carrying on a torrid love affair ever since I was eleven. It's only gotten deeper since I've grown older. People often wonder why I stare off in space , and my friends say I'm obssessed but I don't care. My lover is more sensitive than a dream, tempestuous as a lightning storm , as simple as a child. With qualities like these why do you act surprised that we spend hours each day together? And stop faasing in my damn private life, it's not any of your business that I come home late almost every night.

You say it's unhealthy for a young girl like me to be so caught up but you're so wrong. I'm not promiscuous, I'm safe. You say you've seen my lover with other persons before, men and women?! To hell with them! They don't matter, never have never will. I am all that counts.

Just me. Me and my music.