Existence

I looked at the whorls of my fingerprints today. Each one unique, perfectly spaced and aligned. The white stripping skin on my right palm is old. Underneath is fresh and new. So many layers to this peeling onion. "I'll be dead one day", I thought. "I have a finite expiration date." I'm scared of dying. I'm still not comfortable with the concept of what existed before I was born. Tough luck for me. Because I am going to die one day. I better have children. My ego is unhappy that these dying cells won't have a permanent place in society, the only sure fire way to carry on is to dilute my line with someone else's genes. The half life of DNA ensures that some thing will remain. A throwback to my looks and personality maybe in another hundred years. Not the same. Not anywhere near the same as me.

I insist on my existence. hahaha. So much chaff on the wind right? Mustn't forget that one day I might want to die. Give up the struggle on a foam mattress with bed sores instead of stretch marks. A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet, but euthanasia leaves a cerasee flavour. Thanks but no thanks for the help.

"So many different layers" I thought "all of them coming from a single renewing source." But my mind wanders finding the topic too self absorbed for it's liking. The irony of a blog. A fleeting thought pursued passionately, at least while it holds interest. Will that be my fate? A name discovered by accident while on a google search for a missed deadline assignment. Who knows. Who cares. I exist in the now.