Sleeper

Stayed awake to watch you sleep.
Soft breaths,
Angel in vision of repose still

Demon of thoughts.
Return my peace.
The naive simplicity
Of Innocence,

Underappreciated quality
Of youth. There was none
More willing

Than I (I thought). No
Hesitation to call
Back the slide to misery.

The misery of company.

Does she ache as I
Do at your side? I
Hope.

I. Word and letter in one.
Paired with you (I
Thought).

Other pairings out of
Thought, and mind
And stolen time.

Sleep comes now
Curled at your back.
My breath warms

The distance between
Us. (You and I again)
Softly, softly
I sleep.


M. Woodham. 2006.

Cooking with cinnamon

Yippeee :) I had cinnamon and nutmeg pancakes with honey for breakfast this morning. I am a cinnamon junkie. It's such a cool spice. A hint of it will enhance the flavour of other foods or spices, a touch has a sweetish taste and a lot tastes like hot pepper.

Query

Just a question today. Why are there so many more attractive females than males?

When I say I'm a Christian

This is the poem that I had mentioned on my friend's blog.

I AM A CHRISTIAN By Maya Angelou>>When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin.">I'm whispering "I was lost," Now I'm found and forgiven.>>When I say..."I am a Christian" I don't speak of this with pride. I'm>confessing that I stumble and need CHRIST to be my guide.>>When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong. I'm>professing that I'm weak and need HIS strength to carry on.>>When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not bragging of success. I'm>admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.>>When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not claiming to be perfect, My>flaws are far too visible but, God believes I am worth it.>>When I say... "I am a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain, I>have my share of heartaches, So I call upon His name.>>When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not holier than thou, I was a>simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow.>>Author ~Maya Angelou~

Likes...

Hi I'm Mel. I like reading, listening to music, dancing and lyming. Other interests include licking ice cream cones on really hot days and inciting riotous behaviour . So what do you do in your spare time?

Whew. Been a busy day. Hardly time to even scratch my ass. Have a lot of learning to do over the next two months on my section. Luckily while the songs are a bit lengthy, I've been hearing them for a long time so they'll be easier to learn. I'm looking forward to expanding my repertoire :D.

Take 2

My motto has been "to live life to the fullest without any regrets", and even when I have regrets I rationalize them as learning experiences and try not to dwell too deeply on them. Life isn't always how you want it to be though.

Some things I regret: Not telling my grandmother how much loved her and admired her strength of will. My family used to live with her after she retired. Shortly before she died she became really cranky and miserable and wouldn't brook any argument from anyone, regardless of the situation. Hated being near her or coming to visit. Out of everyone in the family I've come to realize I'm probably the most like her. The older I get and the more I learn about her, is the more I come to respect her and miss having her wisdom. REGRET #1 Thinking that an old sick woman wasn't worth my respect or attention.

I am to this day an ardent bookworm. But at least now I'm a sociable one. My mother and brother used to call me anti social for my habit of not only taking books everywhere I was going, but reading them while we were visiting other people or had guests over. Many times when my mum wanted to take me on some trip with her I would say no and then go back into whatever book I was reading. Needless to say this usually disappointed her. Took a while before I could see and then admit that I was hiding.

Truth was I really wanted to go. But I wasn't comfortable socializing with other people. It was so much easier to go off into a book and daydream about a fantastic life, not totally removed from everyday events. I wouldn't have to deal with my two left feet, or being too blunt. These bring me to REGRET #2 Letting my insecurities control how I lived.

Striving not to have any regrets has led me down a few back roads which I won't discuss here :) But I've become more the person who I dreamed about when I was young. And I did it by enjoying who I am and enjoying who other people are. I have a strong feeling that my children will do the same mistakes I did. God grant me the grace to love and trust them through all they do, even when they hurt me as I have my mum and grandmother. Give them peace.

Vex man!

I hate collecting cheques on Fridays. Fridays mean long lines, slow pace and the damned borer dem! Everytime is always the maintainance workers dem. Backside! Dem come een like wan cyansa, no, dem come een like wan damn pus bumb dat always rehappear bigga dan ever. Missis. If yu si wan yu know seh him is di reprisentative fi di hentiya harganizashan. An trus mi. Dem naaah move till dem dun. All a dem. An dem modda. An dem likkle sista weh eena basic skool. An di mangrel dawg dem.


Damn stinking Fridays :@

Daydreams

Sometimes I dream of being the Prime Minister and fixing this damn country. Being a social worker and just finding perfect homes for the abandoned and scared children in the shelters, the streets the gullies. Avenging angel against criminals at my gate with my iron pipe of justice , screaming hell and damnation in a nightgown. Dreams of power. But power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

At least that's how the proverb goes. Can't recall any happy proverbs though come to think of it. How about a positive spin on the story. One that provides balance and fairness. Dream on Mel, Dream on.

Aching Inside

At times I think I'm a well adjusted, whole person. Then those days will show up. Starts out me feeling a little restless, sometimes slightly on edge. This will just continue for the whole day and ripen into an intense feeling of aloneness.

Can't say lonely cause I'll be around other people. Can't say it's missing the ones I love cause they're right beside me. The mood can't be depressed cause we're all laughing at hysterically funny jokes. Yep. All of us, me included. Sharing one on one time with that special someone, mmhm, it's there too.

Have to wonder sometimes if I'm just cuckoo at those moments, or am I just living a facade every other moment of my life.

I think I could live with being slightly crazy. Kinda fits in with the sterotypical cool person who's sometimes edgy, in-the-circle-but-not-quite image you see alot these days. Scared out of my wits that I'm living a lie and these moments are my soul saying I've compromised living to the hilt with stability.

What say you?

Waiting to exhale

Stayed up till 2am (again :D) for another installment of Bleach. I've reached the end of the series so far now and have to wait till January 10 before the next season premieres. It got me thinking bout all the other fun things I've waited for.

1. Wheel of Time: Bk 11 by Robert Jordan - This man clearly feels that he's gonna live forever the way he drags the books out. I started reading these in 5th form yow and they came out loong before then. At least this one was actually worth the wait.
2. UWI Graduation - 4 years for the little fenky fenky slip of paper
3. Harry Potter: Bk 5 - Consistently worth the wait each year. I love the fact that the books keep getting fatter :D

Addicted to Bleach

No I'm not talking aboutbthe weapon of Mass Destruction toted by all helpers. I'm talking about the anime/ manga "Bleach". It's a must see. Up there on the list of few with Cowboy Bebop (my favourite series) , Vampire Hunter D and Ghost in the Shell. Another good one to check out is One Piece.

Mattress Troubles

My bed has a nice little sink in the middle. I avoid it when I use my bed as an exercise mat but it's great for curling up in when i want to sleep.

My brother's bed now is a whooole different ball game. For starters its actually three sofa cushions and a white tiled floor. A big improvement than the three seater couch with the big sink in the middle and the inadequate length that his feet kept hanging over. Again this was an improvement over his actual bed with the broken mattress frame, the lumpy mattress (sinking into the hole in the mattress frame) and his feet hanging over the edge of the bed.

It's always amusing to see the how far up ones face an eyebrow can reach once they step into my living room on a given morning, and spot my bro on the floor. That is if I've been kind enough to give them warning and they don't trip on the mattress.

This all started I feel not because of any actual problem with the bed, but the sheer fact of being too tired/lazy to actually make it into the bedroom. It has all the comforts, like the TV,computer and being near the fridge. Plus it's always been a habit that my mum has unsuccessfully tried for years to break for both of us.

I know for a fact that sometimes I just get too tired and fall asleep right on the couch with light and glasses on, other times I feel like I'm 11 sneaking down the stairs in my pjs to watch late night TV.

Whatever the case, I know I'll still be putting in my fair share of dents into the couch cushions.

Age ain't nothing but a number

When I was in highschool I used to think that men who hit on women 20yrs their junior were perverts. I no longer think so. I'm not talking about situations where the girl is still in her teens, that's illegal. But say a 24 year old and a 50 year old . My reasoning is that the age gap is significant for the years of experiences that each will have gained and the economic security that follows. It should not however have made the older party, be it male or female, into a dried up stick with one foot in the grave, nor be so lacking in the younger person as to make them a naive new born. Yes there will be some who are this way, but all the same the age difference shouldn't be making that much impact on the dynamic between the couple.

Who the hell cares what the rest of society wants to think.

New Year, New Blog

Happy New Year :D

Yep. it's time to look at the rest of the year and think , hmmm, now just how long will it be before everything starts going downhill again? Someone told me they like it when the new year starts off on a bad note, that way things can only progress from there. It's also equally possible for Murphy's Law to kick in and send everything towards the garbage heap though *-) . Overall there was much to be thankful for in 2005, not the least of it being able to keep part of my New Years Resolution and lose a few pounds.

This year I made no new resolutions. Some of the ones from 2004 are still unfinished, and I still have those to get through. Really and truly though I feel like I'm resolving my resolutions that I made in high school Personal Development class. You know, get a job by time I'm x age, learn to drive before x age, get married by x, you get the picture. So here's to a year of completed resolutions and fulfilled dreams. Hip, Hip, Hooraaayy!!!