At times I think I'm a well adjusted, whole person. Then those days will show up. Starts out me feeling a little restless, sometimes slightly on edge. This will just continue for the whole day and ripen into an intense feeling of aloneness.
Can't say lonely cause I'll be around other people. Can't say it's missing the ones I love cause they're right beside me. The mood can't be depressed cause we're all laughing at hysterically funny jokes. Yep. All of us, me included. Sharing one on one time with that special someone, mmhm, it's there too.
Have to wonder sometimes if I'm just cuckoo at those moments, or am I just living a facade every other moment of my life.
I think I could live with being slightly crazy. Kinda fits in with the sterotypical cool person who's sometimes edgy, in-the-circle-but-not-quite image you see alot these days. Scared out of my wits that I'm living a lie and these moments are my soul saying I've compromised living to the hilt with stability.
What say you?
Christianity and Sexuality
11 years ago
4 comments:
What B said.
I too have been through those moments, though extremely rare, and I have learned that no one but you can know all the demensions of your character.
In everything there is a balance to be found, mind u I am aware thats easier said than done.
I can relate...
I would disagree that it's a facade though. Just because someone doesn't know all the aspects of you, doesn't mean that what they do know of you isn't genuine.
In terms of aching inside, I go through that alot being here. I'm stranger though. I find that I sometimes ache for the company of a specific friend at the times when I feel most alone, and it's not always the same friend each time. So though I may be in the presence of others, it does nothing to quench that 'ache' till I contact the 'right' friend - weird huh.
"I'm stranger though. I find that I sometimes ache for the company of a specific friend at the times when I feel most alone, and it's not always the same friend each time."
I'm with you there Rae.
Don't worry Mel... you're a member of an extremely large club.
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